All at sea

What could be more exciting than escaping the dark winter days and sailing off from Portsmouth on an exquisite ocean liner heading for the sunshine and warmth of the Canary Islands? OK, I might have to sing for my supper – a couple of mornings giving an amusing talk to some of my fellow passengers while the ship is at sea. Other than that, it’s guaranteed relaxation on the equivalent of the most accommodating first-class hotel.

Now, I don’t want you to think I’m lazy, but while others may be planning a coach tour on the days we’ll be berthed at Gran Canaria, Tenerife, La Gomera, La Palma, Madeira or Lisbon, it is my intention never to leave the beautiful ship. I’ve been to the islands before, and spent time in Lisbon years ago.

Why disembark when the ship offers every possible pleasure? On the days when most head off on a sightseeing tour, she would be virtually empty apart from the wonderful staff who would serve my every need. I’d feel like Christina Onassis, all alone on my own superb sailing vessel.

Boarding at Portsmouth, my first sight of the ship’s interior is The Living Room – on a lower deck with the reception area, The Dining Room and The Spa. It’s the most welcoming space with comfy chairs and tables; excellent coffee; any kind of drink you might fancy; delicious snacks; classical music on the grand piano; and lots of charming, attentive waiters. It’s lovely when the ship is at sea, but it can get quite full. When passengers leave for a trip, it’s all yours.

My cabin is on level E. A butler, Henry, is there every day to tidy up, make the bed and clean the bathroom. I never lift a finger. Christina Onassis indeed! My balcony is my favourite spot. I could sit there for hours, gazing across the sea, hoping to spot a pod of dolphins or a whale. At night, the stars, in a clear sky, are spectacular.

On sea days, there’s more than enough to do. First stop, The Living Room, where the waiters soon know what I like, and a skinny latte with an extra shot of coffee arrives pronto, together with a creamy yogurt topped with raspberries served in a sundae glass – yum. Plenty to start the day.

Then, such a lot from which to choose. Shall I go to The Playhouse theatre to hear our financial genius, Paul Lewis? I could make a beaded necklace in a craft class or wait a bit and go to see Diana Moran, the Green Goddess, show me how fit I could be if only I made the effort.

Alternatively, there’s a beginner’s bridge class, where I could learn to play the game properly. Bridge might be a bit too taxing, so I’ll just stay here in The Living Room, enjoy another coffee while I read my book and then have a quick trot around the Promenade deck. It would be a mile if I went round three times. No, I’ll just walk towards The Dining Room for a light lunch and another chapter of my book.

Being on the ship on sea days offers so much activity, but the best thing about it for me is that I can do what I’d be choosing to do at home on days off work.

I don’t need the gym (well I do, but I don’t like it). I don’t really need activity. Relaxation is the name of the game and that involves curling up, watching the world go by, not worrying about getting the car out, feeding the dogs and planning what to cook for dinner.

So to the days in port. First, get your nails done. There’s a marvellous manicurist on board and when everyone has left the ship, an appointment is not hard to achieve. It’s a short stroll to The Spa, which also houses a wonderful acupuncturist who gives me a treatment on every shore day. There’s no competition for her services. Same with the hairdresser. ‘A quick wash and blow dry?’ ‘Certainly, madam. I am not very busy at the moment.’

Afterwards, I check out the facilities. I save the large swimming pool in the sun on the 12th floor till a bit later. First, a go in the comforting hydrotherapy pool, then the steam room, sauna and a dip in the hot tub. Now for a proper swim in the big pool before the sightseers return, along with half an hour sunbathing on a comfy lounger for which there is no competition.

I don’t think a day could be more perfect. And there’s more pleasure to be had. A sailaway party, dress up for dinner in any one of five restaurants – The Grill is my favourite – then to The Playhouse to watch a show in a plush red seat, and up to The Britannia Lounge, where there’s live music and dancing. Well, if you have any energy left.

To the cabin, where Henry has turned down the bed, left a square of chocolate and a night of undisturbed sleep beckons. The next day, arriving at Madeira, everything can be repeated. I look overboard to see if the island appears much as it did last time I was there. It does. I notice Madeira cake will be on the menu as I pass The Dining Room and carry on for my latte in a comfy chair in The Living Room. No need to leave the ship. Just head off for The Spa. Maybe a massage today. Ah, yes, Christina Onassis again. All alone on my very own, ultra-luxurious sailing ship. May this lifestyle never end.

Take me there

We offer a choice of island-hopping adventures in the sunny Canary Islands aboard our boutique sister ships, Spirit of Discovery and Spirit of Adventure. All cruises include our return nationwide chauffeur service, unlimited luggage, fine dining on board in a choice of five restaurants, all-inclusive drinks, Wi-Fi, gratuities to all on-board crew, and more.