Love after Marriage - Glo and David share their views on commitment

David and Glo are celebrating their non-engagement engagement! Both have been married before and don’t feel a walk down the aisle is right for them....

David and Glo recently got “engaged to not marry” on Spirit of Discovery. David had planned to “propose” at the Captain’s cocktail party but things didn’t quite go to plan when he ended up in the sick bay. The head nurse wouldn’t hear of him cancelling and so David got down on one knee in front of the ship’s medical team and asked Glo to "not marry" him. Their story sparks a wider conversation about love, marriage and practicalities.

David had been recently widowed and had nursed his wife for many years – through cancer and dementia. He feels he had said goodbye to her some years before she passed away. He had enjoyed a strong marriage for 55 years and so wasn’t looking for love. In fact, he had told his friends at a lunch to never set him up with anyone.

But he’d spotted an advert for a dating agency and curiosity got the better of him. He laughs when he says that within a few days he had 70 women looking at his profile. But one woman stood out for him – just three photographs of Glo made him think perhaps the dating website wasn’t such a bad idea. They exchanged numbers on Whatsapp and he then left the UK for his planned trip to Australia. He was away for four weeks and during that time he and Glo messaged a lot – they realised they shared a sense of humour. Glo got married when she was 19 and she divorced 19 years later. She had sworn never to marry again but she did want someone to share her interests with which is why she had joined the dating website. She says how important compatibility is to her as she’s got older. When David was in Australia and Glo back home, they realised that they wanted to meet each other so Glo organised a birthday treat for David which involved an Eccles cake topped by a candle, but more incredible was that their first meeting lasted five-and-a-half hours! When asked what their first impressions were when they met in person for the first time, David deadpans “Well, I recognised her”. Cue giggles from Glo as she goes on to say that she finds his sense of humour attractive.

Very quickly, a routine developed which involved visits to concerts and short trips. It was obvious a deep relationship had formed. David’s sons live abroad and he doesn’t see them often but Glo comes from a big family – four brothers, four sisters, children and grandchildren. She says it took her children a little while to get used to the idea of David being in her life –she has been on her own for a long time and they are protective of her. Both felt they wanted to show the people they care about that they are absolutely committed to each other but marriage isn’t something they feel suits them. Glo agreed to David’s idea of a “non-engagement engagement”. He went to a jeweller to have two rings made and he had planned a big moment on board Spirit of Discovery – David is a Britannia Club member but Glo had never been on a cruise before. David had spoken with the Cruise Director and the plan was for David to be given the microphone at the final formal evening of the cruise. But things didn’t go to plan when David fell ill and ended up in the sick bay rather than the Captain’s cocktail party. But the Head Nurse was determined that David go ahead with his non-proposal so she arranged for flowers, champagne, the doctor and the other nurses to be there. As David says, “As we don't envisage marriage because both of us would lose financially, the words were crafted carefully. I actually said: Glo, will you accept this ring as a token of my love and respect for you; it will demonstrate to our families, our friends and these good people here that we are 'engaged'.” Glo obviously said yes.

Their honesty about money is refreshing - there are financial reasons not to move in or marry, retirement and pension pots can change if circumstances change. They both feel they need some financial protection. But there is no doubt that their love is real. Glo says “I’m 76 and I’ve met my soulmate. I never thought it would happen. I’ve been waiting for him all my life.” She says she wished she’d met him earlier but David interjects with his sense of humour, “But I was married then Glo!”

Glo is incredibly supportive about David’s late wife - she wants Heather to be part of their life together. The first time Glo visited David’s house, he had a photo of Heather on his sideboard. The second time, David had put it away in case it made Glo uncomfortable. Quite the opposite, she insisted he put it back. Glo is exceptional he says, “she lets me grieve and remember Heather. She’s so kind and thoughtful.” Indeed Glo had some bad news early in their relationship when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She said to David, “You’ve been through this, you’ve already been a carer, I don’t want you to go through that again – that wasn’t part of the agreement.” She told David to leave and that it would be OK. David’s response “Don’t ever mention that again.” And that was that, he stayed. 

Both agree that life is too short so they need to get on with it. They are planning holidays together and making memories. They laugh all the time and they tell a story involving a naked David, a hot tub and a passenger train, perhaps not appropriate to tell here but it shows how much fun they are having! They are clearly committed to each other but marriage isn’t as important to them as commitment. “Never say never!” are David’s last words before we say goodbye – and I wonder perhaps if I should buy a hat?